Just a disclaimer: this post is all my personal thoughts and opinions. In no way am I judging any mom who chooses to stay home or work! I am me and feel the way that I feel :)
As I have mentioned before, I have always wanted to be a mom. But, I never saw myself as a stay-at-home-mom.
I get bored easily, I sit around and become lazy, I eat too much, and then when I do get out of the house it's usually to spend money. Obviously, I have gotten better at the above due to many things including age, experience, self-control, and well, the little human I grew in my belly for 9 months! :)
Aaron and I both knew that when we decided to start a family that I would need to work. And we both didn't have a problem with me helping out for our family. Luckily, right after we found out I was pregnant I was offered a teaching job and was able to leave my retail job at Sports Authority. Not only did I get my dream job but I was preparing to fulfill my other dream, becoming a mother.
Throughout my pregnancy Aaron and I talked lots and lots about how nice it would be with my new job and having Brinnley. Not only would I get summer (hello 3 months off) but holidays and weekends as well. With Aaron's promotion, he has a lot more on his plate and is expected more as a manager. His schedule varies each and every week, we never know when to expect him to work unless he requests certain days off, which he hardly does - seriously, I go into his work and put in for his days off. (The perks of me working there for 4 years, I can still do whatever I want, mostly and know all the managers personally!)
Anyway - I think I got off topic. Aaron and I knew I wouldn't be a stay-at-home mom, and he also knew that it wasn't something I wanted to do at all, or at least for a long time. I went back to school and worked my butt off to get my master's degree and get a new job, why would I want to throw that all away? I didn't! After having these 3 wonderful months at home with my baby girl, she will be 6 months old my first official day back at teaching (I go back a week early but that is for meetings and PD). I have loved and hated these last 3 months. I have seen the worst of myself and the best of myself. I have learned more about me in these months than I probably ever would have learnt otherwise. Being at home with Brinnley has been a blessing and call me crazy, but I am excited to go back to work.
Yes, you read that, I am excited to go back to work. Most people who hear me say this give me a look like I'm stupid and may be secretly judging me for "not wanting to be home with my daughter" but it has nothing to do with that. I love my daughter more than anything in this world!
Maybe it's the routine that I miss. Or the adult interaction on a daily basis. Or maybe it's the job that I love so very much. But something inside me is going crazy - and the only cure for it is returning to work. Obviously, this isn't something that I am choosing over Brinnley. This is my job and since the paycheck is nice each month, I must go back.
Brinnley will be in good hands and thankfully because of Aaron's schedule, he will get to spend a lot of time with miss Brinnley. My schedule is the same each day, with some days being later than others but I have a lot of control over the situation. Aaron will be with her every minute that he can and then his sister will be watching Brinnley at our home when we need it. I love this because I know it will be easiest on all of us. She lives only 3 blocks away, Brinnley will be at home in her natural environment, and we will get to come straight home after work without having to make pitstops at daycare AND without having to pack her diaper each night for the following day.
Being a working mama is what was made for me - thankfully my job allows so much flexibility that I will be able to be with my daughter during some very important times - evenings, weekends, holidays, breaks and the summer time. I don't see myself being a stay at home mom, that just makes my time with miss Brinnley ever so more important when I get it!
Call me crazy, but being a working mom works for me.. as much as I miss my baby girl, it works.
1 comment:
I'm so excited/happy for you that you 1) love your job and 2) are excited to go back to work. I have a great job, but it's totally lacking in the love/fufillment department. I think that's why I have a tough time being away from Cam - I'd rather be there with him than at work.
Like you, I went back to school and got my Master's degree. So, if I were to stay at home with him - I would have wasted a lot of time and money to be a very educted stay at home mama.
Anyway, enough rambling. Us working mamas have to stick together! :)
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